Take ten. Scratch that. Probably take 29. That's total hyperbole. It's probably only take 7 or 8 but it definitely isn't my first go at it. I just don't know how to get started with this post. It's not about Kansas or Dorothy or anything, although she did show up in one of yesterday's episodes of Once Upon a Time. It's just about wanting to love myself more and talk to myself better and encourage others, encourage you, to do the same. That's all.

I've been making a lot of art lately.  Process art.  Healing art.  Not necessarily "good" art, but instead, art that is good for my soul.  Art that is helping me heal.  Art that is helping me process so many pent up, pushed down, bottled up, dark and messy feelings that I didn't even realize I had until I started creating, again.

Yes, you read that right.  It's a little bit like putting the genie back in the bottle, some parts of it anyway.  Or maybe you can think of it as going about everything backasswards. The real story of my life? It's possible.

But no, really what I think it feels like is trying to put the pieces back together again, trying to make the lemon whole again, full, of juice, of life, without getting bitter about letting that goodness get squeezed out in the first place.  It's wanting to feel full and complete and if I could have all of the wishes in the world, luscious.  I would feel luscious.  

Scorpio Full Moon - Your Soul Is Requiring You To Face A Fear With Brutal Honesty And Truth.  That is the name of a little video that popped up on my YouTube feed this morning.  It was only 5 minutes long, so I looked at it.  I found it intriguing.  It made me think.  I saw that moon last night as my parents and I were driving to town to set up tables for my niece's wedding reception this Saturday. My parents were commenting on it...the moon.

It is spring in the mid-west and if there's one thing you can be certain to expect, it's a severe thunderstorm.  I remember as a child, watching gray clouds and striking lightening move in, followed by bellowing thunder...I found it exhilarating.  I fancied myself in my very own Wizard of Oz, moving treacherously through the darkness and threat, into the safety of the calm after the storm.  The technicolor.  The rainbows.  It was my childhood fantasy, after all, Dorothy always did want to get out of Kansas.

I visited my 87-year-old aunt with my mother the other day.  The moment you step into her home it is evident that her health is declining.  She fell later that evening after our visit and my mother received a call from Life Alert informing her that her sister had been taken by the paramedics to the emergency room.  It is a call that no one wants to receive.

On that day, nothing happened...and everything happened.  

I'm struggling to find words to explain the profound, the simple, the prevailing, the sublime. It was a total eclipse of the heart in the most brilliant and beautiful way.  Nothing like Bonnie Tyler's experience. It was my own.

There are some wild and crazy energies brewing around this solar eclipse coming up on April 8th, 2024.  The wildest and craziest of them all seem to be brewing right within me.  It's crazy.  Crazy.  Can I say crazy one more time?  Completely crazy.

Letting go of a life that once was, that was once dreamed of, seems to be a little bit like coming unhinged.  It feels so vulnerable and well, completely unknown.  And the crazy part, for me anyway, is that it is.  Unknown.  Completely.  Unknown.  That is super uncomfortable...for me.  Anyway, I know I need it.  I know I want it, that which is highest and best for all.  But something within me is so frightened of something else that I can't even fully define. 

"The curious paradox is that when I accept myself just as I am, then I can change." 

- Carl Rogers

Self-Acceptance Saturday.  What I learned.  What I need to learn.  What I hope to share with others.  "The only thing more frightening than changing, is not changing." - Ronda  

Blogging is exciting.  Blogging is creative.  Blogging is fun.  Blogging is not easy.  Blogging is a ginormous time suck.  Blogging is something that I really, really want to do.  And I want to do it well, sometimes to the point of perfection, which takes so, so much time for me to complete one post. -Ronda May 30, 2018Welcome to the...WELCOME TO THE JOURNEY. 

 It's so funny how much the simple, everyday things in our lives can teach us something so important.  That simple little thing for me today was a puzzle that I have been working on since sometime last year, possibly as early as last spring.  It's been so long I really can't remember when I started it.

"Satisfaction of one's curiosity is one of the greatest sources of happiness in life" 

- Linus Pauling

 CONFESSION: Because I was so struck by this section of this week's Artist's Way reading, a large portion, possibly a VERY large portion of this post, will be a direct "quote" from Julia Cameron.  Please don't accuse me of plagiarism, or worse yet, being a copycat, but I probably just can't say it better myself.  Although trust me, if I think I can find a way, I will...try anyway.

Stand at the crossroads and look; ask for the ancient paths, ask where the good way is, and walk in it, and you will find rest for your souls. - Jeremiah 6:16

The time has arrived.  It's been a long time coming, feels like it anyway, but it is here.  Endings may be inevitable, but a new beginning is just around the corner.  Doesn't mean that it's not scary though.  I've done the best I can to prepare.  Here we go.

Staying in the shadow is for kitty cats.  Standing in the fullness of your power in the radiance of the sun is for Lions, baby.  I'm coming out.  It’s represented as the Strength card in the tarot, a card I have mentioned a few times in my last couple of posts.  A card that represented me in my readings.  A card that represents me, not only as the Leo that I am, but as someone who is facing my inner fears and mastering my emotions to bring calm and courage to myself and move forward, overcoming challenges as I go.

It's a cloudy day here in North Carolina, and rainy too.  My friend, the radiant, beautiful sunshine begs to be seen today, but can't.  Not yet anyway.  A few hours, definitely another day, he'll be back and all will be right with the world.  Warmth and light.  Love.  Yes, this is my sun.  

It's pretty cool when Life gives you confirmations that you are on the right path.  It's amazing when those little synchronicities show up to give you a positive pat on the back.  I love it.  The Universe loves me.  I'm definitely going to end up in India on this journey, I'm just not sure when.  And I am Abundance and Manifestation personified, and Strength.  Yep.  That's me.  And...my job is to dance.  Sing, love, bring joy and dance.  Literally.  Like the goddess Radha.  (You can look her up on Wikipedia)

"Look and you will find it. What is unsought will go undetected." - Sophocles

Sometimes life gets busy. Really, really busy. Like this past week for me. Hour upon hour of video editing. (You'd be surprised how long it takes to make a 5-minute video. Whew!) And grandkids spending the night so I can get as much time with them as possible before they are moved away. Hour by hour that leaving date so quickly approaches. Sigh...

Some people look at Planet Earth as a Life School. I guess I could be considered one. We all go through stuff here in this cosmic classroom, we all get our lessons, if we choose to accept.

I like gardening, and with spring on its way, I will need to get out to my garden and prepare for planting soon, but this post is not about vegetables.  And although this post is not about radishes, beets or rutabagas, it is about roots.  It is about tending and earth and getting grounded.  It might even be about feeling stuck in the mud.  It’s definitely about how we can grow. 

Art requires a safe hatchery, says Julia Cameron in the Artist’s Way.  I am currently repeating week 3 of the Artist’s Way course, because last week seemed to get hectic and I didn’t even get to finish reading the chapter, chapter 3.  There is too much good stuff in chapter 3 to just skip over it and move on, so I made an executive decision to repeat week three.  I didn’t hear any arguments.